LUST (A STEPBROTHER ROMANCE) Read online

  At least here in the hotel, even in the same room, we weren’t trapped practically on top of each other. Nathan’s Jeep was nice, but it wasn’t exactly a conducive location for a tense or awkward conversation, that was for damn sure.

  Still, by the time we were back on the slopes the next morning, I hadn’t made up my mind one way or another. I wanted to keep this going, I wanted this to be more than just a fling for the two of us, but was that even feasible?

  I had fun out on the slopes again, but my heart just wasn’t in it today. I was lucky I didn’t wipe out and end up buried under two feet of snow, with how distracted I was the entire time. Yet somehow, I managed to stay standing and avoid making an ass out of myself, even though we were on the intermediate slopes the entire day.

  Even after our shower sex, and dinner, and our after dinner sex, I couldn’t stop thinking about what we were going to do in a few days. I didn’t want this to come to an end, but did I want to turn this into a relationship?

  Nathan was my brother, even if it was only because my mother had married his father. What would people think if we started dating? I doubted very many people would approve.

  Yet, at the same time, I didn’t want to just continue having casual sex with him when we got home. Being in bed with him was amazing, there was no denying that, but I wouldn’t be able to stand being his secret lover while he went out with different girls.

  That wouldn’t be fair, to any of us.

  Sleep took forever to over taking me that night, as I stared up at the dark ceiling. Even with Nathan’s arm around me, I just couldn’t slip into the slumber I craved to get my mind off of Nathan, even for just a little bit.

  The next morning, I woke up just as tired as I’d been when I’d gone to sleep. Sometime in the night I had indeed fallen asleep, but it hadn’t been the relaxing, peaceful sleep I’d had the last few nights. It was fitful, with lots of tossing and turning. I was surprised Nathan had been able to sleep at all with me in bed with him.

  I was up a good twenty minutes before he was, still staring up at the ceiling turmoil raging inside me. Sometime in the night I’d decided what I wanted, but I wasn’t sure how Nathan would respond.

  When he woke up, he pulled me tight against him again, and I laid my head on his chest after he kissed my cheek. I’d expected him to want to fuck right away, like we had been doing, but he seemed to be content to just cuddle, neither of us speaking.

  “Are you okay?” Nathan asked, lifting my chin until we locked eyes. It was the first thing he’d said, other than good morning. “You’ve seemed a bit off since yesterday.”

  I chewed on my lip, not quite sure how to broach the subject. I didn’t want Nathan to think I was getting clingy or anything. From what I’d heard from Kelly and my books, nothing sent a guy running faster than a girl who got too clingy.

  “Have you thought about what’s going to happen after we head home?” I asked at last.

  “What do you mean?”

  Typical Nathan, I thought, rolling my eyes. He was too busy living in the moment to think about what happened when we went back to our normal lives. “I mean, what are we going to do about us? Are… we going to keep this up? Do you want to keep this up? Do you… do you want more out of this?”

  He stared at me for a moment, then closed his eyes and leaned back against his pillow. “Do you want to keep this up? It’ll be a lot harder when we get home, to keep it from everyone, I mean. Someone is bound to notice if you’re spending the night in my bed.”

  That’s what I’d been afraid of. I didn’t want this to end; I didn’t want to just be another notch on his bed post.

  I pulled out of his arms and scooted over in the bed, needing a bit of space. He didn’t seem to even be considering anything more than just sex between us, even if we kept things going after the trip. He’d been my first, someone I thought cared about me as more than just a girl to occupy his bed. Had I been wrong about him?

  “What’s wrong?” Nathan tried to pull me back into his arms, but I resisted, not wanting to look at him yet.

  “I thought maybe this was more than just a hook-up.”

  Nathan exhaled sharply. “It is more than just a hook-up, Sarah. You know I care about you, but you’re my stepsister. What would everyone say if they found out about us?”

  Rolling off the bed, I walked over to the window and peered out it. What was I supposed to do now?

  “Doesn’t it even bother you a little? I mean, for Christ’s sake, Nathan, you were my first. I thought…. I thought this meant something more to you.” I fought back the tears that formed at the corners of my eyes.

  Nathan was behind me before I knew hit, his hands at my waist. “Come on, Sarah. Don’t be like that!”

  I pushed him away, heading for the bathroom. “I need a shower. You need to figure things out by the time I get out. I’m not going to just be your weekend fuck, Nathan. I thought you were better than that!”

  Once the door was shut, I leaned against it, no longer able to fight back the tears.

  18

  Nathan

  I stared at Sarah as she walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Fucking hell. That hadn’t gone the way I’d wanted it to. I’d known we’d need to have this chat sooner or later, but I hadn’t expected it to go down that badly.

  I need a drink, I thought to myself. I grabbed some clothes and threw them on before slipping out of the room and heading to the bar. It was a good thing the place was open this early, since I was pretty sure I was going to go insane without something to calm my nerves.

  Sarah wasn’t the only one who’d been thinking about this. I’d just hoped I would’ve had a bit more time to work things out before we sat down and talked about things, not that we’d done much sitting or talking.

  Apparently neither of us were the greatest under pressure. I wished Sarah would’ve just told me what she wanted, right from the start, instead of playing twenty questions. Not that I’d done much better and spitting out what was on my mind.

  I did want to be with Sarah, more than anything I wanted to be wither. No matter what I was doing this week, all I could think about was Sarah. But no matter how much I wanted to be with her, it just didn’t seem feasible. We were step-siblings, after all.

  Which is why I’d assumed, after this week was over, things would go back to normal between us. Because, no matter how much either of us wanted something else, it just couldn’t happen.

  Could it?

  I was halfway through a glass of scotch when Billy walked in. I nodded to him and he stalked over, glaring at me. “What the hell, man?”

  “Good morning to you too,” I said dryly. “I wondered when you’d show up again.”

  “Like you have room to talk. I wasn’t the one fucking my sister for the past three days!”

  My heart skipped a beat. How the fuck had he known? Or was he just being a dumbass? I slammed the drink onto the table and glared at him, not much in the mood for his bullshit today. “The hell’s your problem? I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

  Billy slammed a room key onto the table next to my glass. “I’m in room 202, the one right next to yours, jackass. I could hear the two of you going at it like fucking animals. What the hell is wrong with you? I told you I was into her. Did you just fucking hook up with her to spite me or some shit? She’s your sister for fucks sake!”

  “Step-sister,” I spat back, throwing his words back at him. “Remember? And no, fuckface, the entire fucking world doesn’t revolve around you. So fuck off and stay out of my business.”

  Right then, I couldn’t remember why I’d ever been friends with him. I’d always just sort of hung out with him, even though we’d never really been close. Now I was starting to regret never telling him to fuck off before now.”

  “Oh, I bet your daddy would just love to know what kind of business you’ve been getting up to. What would he say if he found out you were fucking your sweet little step-sister, huh? I bet
he’d be so thrilled he sent the two of you up here so you can fuck like rabbits!”

  “Fuck off,” I rolled my eyes at his stupid threat. “Like he’d ever believe you. You’re just some fuckwit who’s pissed because you couldn’t get laid.”

  He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He played around on it for a minute, then tossed it onto the table. “How about we let Sarah be the one to tell him?”

  Seconds later, Sarah’s voice came out of the phone. “Oh god! Fuck me, Nathan! Harder! Oh god, I’m gonna come!”

  My face heated and I clenched my fist, fighting back the urge to knock Billy into last year. Fucking asshole had recorded us having sex at some point. Fucking son of a bitch.

  It took every ounce of my will power not to beat his fucking ass. I’d always known he was a dick, but I’d never expected this from even him.

  “You’re a fucking dickbag.”

  He picked up his phone and room key, stuffing them back into his pocket. “Break it off with her, or as soon as I get service, I will send this little recording to Daddy and we’ll see just what he thinks of his golden boy son. And if you tell anyone about this, I’ll post this online and fucking ruin you, understand?”

  I watched a Billy stalked off, then picked up my scotch and downed the rest of it before signaling the bartender for another. One drink definitely wasn’t going to be enough now.

  Now what the fuck was I supposed to do?

  Despite my reservations earlier, I didn’t want to break it off with Sarah. Ending this was the logical thing to do, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do. Billy was right. What would my father say if he found out Sarah and I hooked up on a trip I’d talked him into paying for?

  And yet, even with his threat hanging above my head, I still didn’t want to let her go. The thought of Sarah with another guy made me sick, even more so than the thought of my father finding out about us.

  As the liquor hit my stomach, liquid fire worked its way through my veins. What the hell did it matter what Dad thought? I was an adult now and so was Sarah. What was the worst he could do? Write me out of his will?

  I’d started investing the moment I turned eighteen, turning the inheritance my grandfather had left me into a small fortune in its own right. Even if Dad tossed me out and never gave me another dime, I still had more than enough money to live on without his help.

  So it wasn’t like I had to worry about relying on him to live. I could easily find a new house and afford to take care of myself, even if it wasn’t necessarily something I wanted to do. Not like that, anyway.

  I was close with Dad and didn’t want to ruin my relationship with him. But, more than that, I didn’t want to ruin what I had with Sarah. I didn’t want to push her away and make her feel like she was just some cheap girl I picked up for a weekend of fucking.

  She was more than that to me. Even now, I was considering risking everything for her. Even if I had enough money, that recording could still cost me quite a bit. Not many people would want to do business with a guy who fucked his own sister, even if she was only my step-sister.

  But she was worth it, I decided as I downed the last of my drink.

  Sarah was worth everything I had and more. Now I just needed to tell her that and hope to god she wasn’t still pissed at me for this morning. I paid off my tab and headed back to the room, determined to make things right with Sarah.

  When I went to the room though, Sarah was gone. I frowned as I looked around the empty room, wondering where she’d disappeared to. Then I noticed a paper on the table, which I snatched up, frowning as I read it.

  “If you can’t even talk to me, then I guess we’re done. I’m not going to be your weekend entertainment. You can find some other girl to fuck for the rest of the trip.”

  Fucking hell!

  She must’ve thought because I’d gone down to the bar for a drink that I didn’t want her. Fucking hell. Why hadn’t I gotten my head out of my ass sooner? Why hadn’t I just told her what I was feeling?

  I slammed the note back onto the desk as I cursed under my breath. Where the hell could she have gone? Had she gone to Kelly’s room? That would be the most obvious place for her to hideout if she was avoiding me.

  Heading back down the hall, I went to Kelly’s room, pounding on the door. I shifted from foot to foot as I waited for someone to answer the door. It seemed to take forever before Kelly appeared. She blinked at me, obviously confused at why I was there.

  “Have you seen Sarah? She left while I was out, and I can’t find her.”

  “Yeah, I saw her not long ago, down in the lobby.” Kelly covered a yawn. “Seemed like she was upset over something, but she didn’t want to talk about it. I was exhausted, so I came back up to take a nap, but she went out to the slopes with one of your friends. He said something about fresh powder.”

  I sighed, cursing at myself mentally. “Do you remember who she was with?”

  “Billy, I think his name was. The one who face planted in the snow the other day? Him.”

  “Damn! Sorry, I mean thanks for letting me know. Get some rest okay?”

  Before she could respond, I was heading down the hall. I stopped by my room and threw on my snow gear and grabbed my board before practically running out of the lodge. The moment I was outside, I saw what Billy had meant by fresh powder. The storm had broken sometime in the night, leaving the ground glistening with fresh snow.

  But when I reached the ski-lift, my heart sunk. It wasn’t moving, despite the lights all still being on. So that meant it wasn’t a power issue. I headed over to the little booth where a man stood. He turned as I approached, an apologetic smile on his face.

  “I’m sorry sir, no one else can go up right now. The last riders went up ten minutes ago.”

  “What’s going on? Why isn’t the lift running?” I leaned against my board, frowning at him.

  “There was an avalanche on the next ridge over. Nothing major, we just had to shut down as a precaution, to check the snow pack and keep people off the backcountry, that’s all.”

  “My sister and a friend are up there!” I shouted. “You need to turn the lift back on so I can make sure they’re okay!”

  The man shook his head, his smile turning into a frown. “I can’t do that, sir. I’m sure your sister and friend are just fine. Ski patrol is already up there making sure all of the riders get down safely. Don’t worry.”

  Fucking Hell!

  Billy loves the backcountry. Every time we’d come up here before, he’d gotten tired of the main slopes quickly. It was one of the reasons he wasn’t thrilled with coming here instead of some of the other resorts. If it was just him and Sarah, he was bound to take her off the main slope, even if she was still a relative beginner.

  I clenched my fists and ground my teeth, trying to figure out how to get to them, how to make sure she was okay. I couldn’t walk up the mountain. That would take way too long.

  Then I spotted the bright red ski patrol snowmobile parked next to the ski lift, the sunlight reflecting off the keys. I frowned as I stared at it, but no other option came to mind. Dropping my snowboard, I ran over to it and hopped on. As the lift owned yelled at me, I cranked the engine and took off up the mountain, the stubby man trying to chase after me for a few feet before giving up and running back to his little shack.

  Skiers passed me by as I drove up the mountain, but none of them wore the bright pink gear Sarah did. For once, I was glad she’d chosen the most outlandish outfit she could find, since it would make her easier to spot

  But by the time I made it up to the lodge at the top, I still hadn’t spotted Sarah or Billy. Fucking hell, they really had gone off trail. I was going to kick Billy’s ass when I found him. He should’ve known better than to take a beginner off the main trails.

  When I pulled up next to the small building, a ski patrolman stood there, arms crossed over his chest as he glared at me. My face flushed but there was no way I was going to be apologetic for being worried about Sarah, especi
ally since now I definitely knew they were somewhere on the backcountry.

  The man stalked over as I pulled to a stop. He had a walkie-talkie in his hand, which explained how he’d known I was on my way up. “What the hell were you thinking?”

  “Look, my sister is missing. I think she may have gone off-trail with another guy.”

  The man nodded. “A couple went off trail not long ago. We’ve got people out looking for them. Now get off the snowmobile and let us do our jobs.”

  I opened my mouth to reply, only to be interrupted by a rumbling sound. A sound I knew all too well. Both the patrolman and I turned just in time to see the wave of snow cascading down another one of the ridges, right by where they’d have been if they went off trail.

  “Get on!” I yelled to him, cranking the engine again.

  The guy didn’t argue, just hopped on back. The moment he was seat, I hit the gas and we were off in the direction of the avalanche. The entire time, I kept looking for something, some sign of where she’d gone. Something that would at least give me a clue.

  “There!” the patrolman shouted, pointing to the right.

  I couldn’t tell when he was pointing at, but I turned the snowmobile that way anyway. As we got closer, I saw the tracks – a snowboard and a set of skis. That was most likely Sarah and Billy, if I had to take a guess.

  The tracks went toward where the avalanche had just hit, disappearing beneath the snow. My heart pounded as I followed the tracks as best I could, hoping we’d find them soon. I slowed the snowmobile down as my head was on a constant swivel, looking for tracks or anything that might help.

  “Over there! I see someone!”

  I looked where he pointed. Squinting, I could just make out a mark of red or pink sticking out from beneath the snow. I gunned it again, coming to a stop a few feet away. Immediately, the two of us jumped off and ran towards what I could now tell was a glove.

  We started digging, pushing the snow out of the way. Moments later, Billy’s rose out of the snow, panting and gasping for air. I cursed as the patrolman and I lifted him out.